When you are ready to start feeling better help is available, hope and relief can be yours. Where to start? You can start by reaching out.  Surviving and overcoming difficult emotions is possible and moving beyond can be achieved, there are times when we need the objective support and guidance that a third party can provide.

While in the midst of an emotional meltdown or crisis, struggling with a new & troubling issue or the re-occurrence of a chronic issue- it is common to feel hopeless or helpless. What often helps is talking with someone about what is going on... a trusted friend, family member or professional (therapist, clergy, doctor...) This provides the opportunity to partially "release the grip" the situation &emotions have on you and allow room for you to breath and maybe even begin to have some hope.

Relief, hope, options and perspective  along with identifying things you can "do"...  These all play an important role in shifting from feeling hopeless to feeling better, and even hopeful. It is the smart person who knows when to ask for help this is a sign of personal awareness, Not weakness.


In some areas a free social service call to 211 may be available, ask your medical doctor or psychiatrist, call your health insurance provider , ask a trusted friend or family member or use the internet for a local search in your community.


If you are in the Ventura County, CA area and are interested either individual or group therapy, I am offering a free 30 minute assessment (805) 204-7315

Comments appreciated

        

As we experience our human lives, somewhere along the way many may find themselves struggling with some of the more commonly shared issues, listed below.

If you are wondering why some have a more difficult time dealing with these issues, it may be due to several different factors.  You may have heard of the Nature vs. Nurture debate, this is an attempt to identify which may be more to blame for coping styles or the lack of coping skills.  The Nature side tends to dictate that we are born with certain coping styles, where the Nurture side says that coping styles are learned behaviors.

In my own opinion, the combination of both Nature and Nurture are contributing factors.  We have the genetic component along with observation and learning, as we grow up. 

What does this mean?  If we grow up in an environment where the caregivers are equipped with poor or dysfunctional coping skills, we incorporate those same skills.   Additionally, some may predisposed to a condition such as, anxiety or depression since these tend to run in families.

Anxiety
Negative Self Talk
Self Esteem Issues
Unresolved Hurt
Anger Management Problems
Communication Issues
Low Mood/ Depression
Relationship Conflicts
and more.

Individual or Group Therapy can help on most all accounts.

        

 Your Inner Dialogue

Self-talk is our internal dialogue - the words we use when we talk to ourselves, Reflecting and creating our emotional states.

You can feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. Your self-talk can influence your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, relationships with others and how you experience life. It can even affect your health, determining, for example, how you handle stressful events, or how easily you replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

Reinforcements associated with Self Talk include these few examples of faulty thinking:

Focusing only on problems: This is the essence of complaining.We dwell on the problem, instead of solutions. Instead:  Assume most problems have solutions and ask "How do I want this situation to be different?"

Catastrophizing: Every bad thing that happens is a horrible disaster. Instead: learn to be more realistic.

Expecting the worst:   "What if he doesn't like me?",  "What if I don't pass the exam?"  Expecting the worst does not encourage you to behave effectively.  Expecting the worst promotes anxiety.

        

Your reactions are the key to having a wonderful life.
If you can learn to control your own reactions,
then you can change your routines and your life.
You are responsible for the consequences of whatever you do,
think, say and feel.

Together we can work toward making this happen.

        

Your Anger Style - Where Did It Come From? 

If you find that you lack the proper skills to manage your own anger, it is NOT because you are stupid or a bad person. You never learned how to do anger in a healthy way.

Our first teachers were our parents or caregivers, we learned how to "BE"in the world by watching and incorporating their coping skills, be ithealthy or unhealthy that was not a factor.

Can you change this hard wiring, this learned behavior? The answer is a big resounding YES

Some Common Triggers: Road rage, Relationship issues, Work atmosphere,  Internal dialogue

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Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is most commonly characterized by intrusive, repetitive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors or rituals and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at preventing some imagined dreaded event.

The disorder is often debilitating to the sufferer's (and his/her family's) quality of life. Also, the psychological self-awareness of the irrationality of the disorder can be painful. For people with severe OCD, it may take several hours a day to carry out the compulsive acts

According to the current epidemiological data, OCD is the fourth most common mental disorder and OCD is considered "nearly as common as asthma and diabetes mellitus."  In the United States, 1 in 50 adults have OCD.  In severe cases, it affects a person's ability to function in everyday activities.

The underlying issue of OCD is anxiety.  This is also true when it comes to panic attacks and is very treatable. 

        

(805) 204-7315

or you can visit:

805Therapy.com

Offering a "one time" free courtesy 30 minute assessment ( a $65.00 savings ). 
Should you cancel or need to reschedule,  regular fees apply.

Ashley Bretting, M.S. 
Marriage & Family Therapist
Registered Intern #IMF51514
Supervised by Lynn M. Jones, Ph.D.
Lic # MFC021739
Morbrook Institute A non-profit agency
in collaboration with Camarillo Health Care District


  Groups and Individual appointments conducted at our Camarillo, CA location

Because you matter!